Tuesday, 3 November 2009

End of Week 4 / Week 5 / Rolling into Week 6 - Recovery & CT Scan..

End of Week 4 / Week 5 / Rolling into Week 6
So now it’s a matter of recovery and healing from the operation.

The next stage will be the CT scan of my body to check for any signs of spread…this will be very tense! I could have had this done before the operation but it really makes no difference, and because my urologist wanted to get me in to remove the tumour as soon as he was confident that’s what it was we left the CT, and booked me in for the operation the following day…and the wonderful sperm bank in the morning of the same day…so CT booked for about 2 weeks time…If it has spread it means chemotherapy..if not, its basically over.

These days aren’t so bad…I’m on a pretty good concoction of painkillers and sleeping pills…operation went well, the pain comes if I let the pain killers wear out…as the days go by I try to reduce the amount of medication I’m taking, very gradually.

Although I have no strict aversion to medication I am a believer in a holistic approach to life…to physical and mental well-being, and to the inter-connectedness of things (now there’s a vague waffly sentence...but true nonetheless) and I believe that the constant ingestion of pills cannot be good for the system – although this has to be balanced with the benefits of not being in pain or not being able to sleep, which also cannot be good for the system when trying to recover..

(ps when I SAY “I am a believer in a holistic approach to life” this is how I think, not always how I ACT if you catch my drift – I’m no holistic vegan yogi!)

Although I think I’m a pretty healthy eater anyway, I try to pick up my game…but I’m not really focused on this…I continue to drink (I say in moderation but probably well over what would be recommended), smoke a little (I do mean a little, less than one cigarette day)…basically treating myself to whatever I feel like. I’m still invincible. It will be ok. Surely I wont have to have chemo!

By a couple of days before the CT I can walk slowly...although not stand about for long, and to be honest am well on the road to repair. Still very odd sensations in my groin, skin feels odd to the touch, cut is healed enough to remove dressing by about a week into recovery.

My urologist calls me to tell me the histology of what was taken out has come back, IT WAS INDEED CANCER SO WE’VE DONE THE RIGHT THING…

One bit of good news, it hasn’t spread locally, I half assume this means it hasn’t spread at all…

I get very drunk about 2 nights before the CT…this was a mistake, I went for a civilised late lunch and drunk a little, then a little at home...one thing leads to another and well…very drunk and very hung over the next day. Sick out one end, and intense pain in my wounded lower abdomen with each retch. A lesson learned…but my stress levels were obviously pretty high…I find out tomorrow if I’m lucky enough to escape or if the ordeal gets worse.

My view on the operation has changed. This was worth it. I don’t want cancer.

“I’ll be alright….right!?”

1 comment:

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