Beginning of Week 6 – Outcome of the CT Scan

Beginning of Week 6
CT Scan…moment of truth. Again.

Go into the scanning machine around midday…lie down, go through the giant doughnut, then get injected with a contrast solution (this makes you feel strangely hot for about 3 minutes, in some odd places!)

Go for lunch and hang out with my Mum for the afternoon, pleasant day if not for the underlying bleakness, thanks Mum!

I meet with my urologist that evening to discuss the CT results, and the tumour histology in more detail ….

The exact words escape me now, but it had spread. Evidence of cancer cells spreading up the blood vessels from the testicle was found, and the CT showed spread into the lymph system. FUCK.




BUT we’d caught it pretty early, I was in the very very first stage of spread. It had gone into my lymph system, but was only evident in two lymph nodes in my lower abdomen, probably the very first place it could have gone to. And the were only slightly enlarged, 14-15mm diameter as opposed to about 8mm….
My stage: P3, N1, M0

FUCK. I’M. GOING. TO. HAVE. TO. HAVE. CHEMOTHERAPY.
SICKNESS
BALDNESS
REAL CANCER
THIS IS GOING TO BE TOUGH

My urologist didn’t want to go into too much detail about chemo and the ins and outs of my particular course, this wasn’t his speciality now…this was for the oncologist to decide and work out with me.

I walk home in shock, scared, depressed, but pretty determined.

Someone I love very dearly brought to light in a very strong way how tough this was going to be on my body and my entire self. That I had to stop everything bad for me, detox, take in only the best foods, stop drinking, smoking…that holistic lifestyle I’ve always believed in but never really followed.

It wasn’t really that difficult but the harsh words brought it home and were needed I think. Sometimes you need someone to tell you how it is!…I stopped smoking completely, stopped drinking completely (for now!), changed my diet (although it wasn’t TOO a drastic change I focused myself this time)..

There are lots of books and references online for all of this but very quickly…Wholegrain rice, lots of fruit and vegetables, focusing on dark colours (red cabbage, beetroots, kale, broccoli, carrots, pomegranates, berries, citrus. Nuts, seeds, berries, wheatgrass, food supplements, vitamins, Echinacea, milk thistle, lotus flower essence (!) etc etc. Avoiding dairy as much as possible, really cutting down on red meat. Cutting down on animals and animal products generally. Organic where possible, to avoid the additional strain to the body of clearing out pesticides , the effects of irradiated food and hormone injected animals, and the effects on animals of being force fed other hormone injected animals and pesticides, and irradiated fruits…and other such crap we’re forced to consume due to the nature of the society we live – although I’m certain all this makes a difference, you’re also probably better off eating non-organic but eating well rather than avoiding anything if you cant source it or afford it to be organic (it is OUTRAGEOUSY more expensive).

I feel now that in some ways this was lucky...had there not been this evidence of spread from the CT maybe we wouldn’t have gone with the chemo, or maybe I would have had only one round…with no chemo at all it would have been a chance for the cancer to spread even further before the next CT, with only one round of chemo it may have pushed it back but then allowed it to come back with a vengeance. I don’t know.